Your Average Day (Explosions and All)
by Settiai
Summary: X-Factor (v3). Rictor woke up to the sound of something exploding downstairs.


Rictor woke up to the sound of something exploding downstairs.

He jerked up into a sitting position, his sheets falling down to pool in his lap. The other side of the bed was empty, which wasn't a surprise. Shatterstar had always been more of a morning person than he had been, and the light coming in through the window made it clear that it was probably close to mid-morning already.

Downstairs, there was a loud crashing sound, followed by at least three distinct voices yelling. Rictor frowned, trying to make out who it was. Madrox, definitely, and the second he thought was probably Guido.

The third was Shatterstar.

Muttering a curse or five under his breath, Rictor threw himself out of bed. He grabbed his discarded jeans from the night before, pulling them on. Then he sprinted out of the room, not even bothering to take the time to look for his shirt.

He almost crashed into an almost-as-disheveled-looking-as-himself Darwin as he rushed out of the room. As it was, both of them came to a stumbling halt in the hallway.

Downstairs, what sounded like a fire alarm went off for a second or two. Then there was a loud crunching sound that sounded suspiciously like someone ripping said alarm out of the wall, and the noise abruptly stopped.

"What's going on down there?" Rictor asked, frowning.

Darwin gave him a baffled shrug. "No idea. I was asleep until things started exploding."

There was a loud popping noise downstairs, followed by more muffled yelling that definitely sounded as if it was coming from Madrox.

Rictor groaned. "Come on," he said, gesturing for Darwin to follow him. Then he took off at a jog toward the stairs.

He took them two at a time and, judging by the sound, Darwin was just behind him. A thin trail of smoke was in the air when he reached the bottom, coming from somewhere in the vicinity of the kitchen, and he swerved in that direction.

A moment or two later, he came to an abrupt stop in the doorway to the kitchen. Darwin slammed into his back.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," Rictor said, staring wide-eyed at the scene in front of him. "What the hell?"

Behind him, Darwin let out an impressive string of curses.

Madrox was standing in the middle of the kitchen, waving around what looked like the remains of one of their phones. It was a bit difficult to tell exactly, though, since it was charred black and smoking. Guido was beside him, soot streaked up and down one of his arms and the crushed remains of a smoke detector on the floor by his feet.

Despite his better judgment, Rictor glanced at the wall where the smoke detector usually hung. There was a nice-sized hole in the plaster, as if Guido had simply reached up and yanked it out when it had gone off. Which, all things considered, was probably because he'd done just that.

Longshot was sitting at the kitchen table, wearing both a sheepish look and a few streaks of ash on his face. Shatterstar was in the chair next to his, a few strands of his hair charred and still smoking. Rictor narrowed his eyes, looking closer. One of the sleeves of his shirt was a few inches shorter than the other, an already-healing burn on his left wrist.

Layla was nowhere to be seen, but Rictor was willing to bet money that she was around _somewhere_.

In short, it was a scene of complete and utter chaos.

"What the hell happened?" Rictor asked loudly, aimed more at the room at large than a particular person.

For a moment or two, nobody reacted.

Then Guido pointed at Madrox. Madrox gave him a tight-lipped grimace and pointed at Longshot. Longshot shot him a grin that managed to be both sheepish and utterly guileless at the same time.

Shatterstar met his gaze and half-heartedly shrugged. "The phone exploded," he said matter-of-factly.

Darwin made a choked sound that might have been laughter.

Rictor brought his hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose as Darwin struggled to get his definitely-recognizeable-as-laughter-by-now under control.

"Okay, but _how_?" Darwin asked finally, his voice still a bit breathless with laughter. He somehow pushed past Rictor, despite the lack of space between him and the doorframe.

Guido kept pointing at Madrox. Madrox kept pointing at Longshot.

"Sometimes I really miss Terry and Monet," Rictor muttered under his breath, reluctantly bringing his hand down from his face.

Darwin made a noise of acknowledgement.

"I don't think it was my fault?" Longshot said slowly, a slight inflection at the end making it sound more like a question than a statement.

Madrox made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort. Or possibly the beginnings of hysterical laughter. It was difficult to tell.

Rictor took a deep breath. "'Star?" he asked pointedly.

"It wasn't my fault," Shatterstar replied instantly.

Rictor resisted the urge to rub his temples. Barely. "I meant, can you tell me what happened?"

"Oh." Shatterstar gave him a half-hearted shrug, gesturing in Madrox's direction. "The phone burst into flames."

There was a long pause.

"Uh-huh," Rictor said skeptically. "What about your hair? And your shirt?"

Shatterstar shot him a puzzled look. "I was on fire."

"_Why_?"

There was another pause.

"From the phone bursting into flames?" Shatterstar answered slowly, as if he thought it might be a trick question.

Rictor groaned and brought his hand up to cover his face. Beside him, Darwin seemed torn between laughing and groaning himself. "Will someone please explain what we missed?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"You won't like it."

He didn't jump at the unexpected sound of Layla's voice coming from behind him. He should have, probably, but it said a lot about the past few months that he didn't even blink at it. Instead, he just sighed.

"I'm sure that I won't," Rictor muttered under his breath. He opened his eyes as he glanced behind him.

Layla was standing there, holding a fire extinguisher.

He stared at her. She grinned back at him. "I'd duck if I was you," she said pointedly.

Part of him wanted to ask her what the hell she was talking about. A larger part of him knew better. Without saying a word, he ducked.

Two seconds later, flames shot out of the already charred phone in Madrox's hands. Madrox swore and immediately dropped it onto the floor. Layla started spraying it with the fire extinguisher as it was still falling.

Nobody said anything for a long moment.

"How is this my life?" Rictor asked as he slowly stood back up.

Shatterstar opened his mouth as if he was about to answer.

"Don't answer that," Rictor cut in. "I was being rhetorical."

Shatterstar closed his mouth.

Reluctantly, Rictor looked around the kitchen. The remains of the phone were on the floor beside the smoke detector, and Madrox was staring at it as if he was worried it was about to come to life and try to kill him. Which was, sadly, a distinct possibility in their lives.

Otherwise, it was the exact same scene he'd walked in on a few minutes earlier.

Rictor closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he reluctantly opened them again.

"I'm going back to bed," he said slowly. "When I come downstairs again, can we _please_ pretend that all of this was in my imagination?"

Madrox eyed the remains of the phone suspiciously for another second or two. "Only if I can too."

"Deal," Rictor said. Then he turned and headed for the stairs, pointedly ignoring anything and everything that he heard behind him.

What was it about Wednesdays?


End file.
